The latest in the flurry of Netflix originals based around teen angst, “Sierra Burgess is a Loser” had a lot of potential. Following the (kinda) success of “To All the Boys I’ve Loved Before”, this teen comedy possessed the tools of becoming a piece of modern culture that us millennials would enjoy for approximately six weeks until the next film based on the misfortunes of a socially awkward adolescent comes scurrying along.

Side note: Noah Centineo is like a 7 (Still would though amirite ladies)

I spent the entire movie thinking about how I definitely knew this girl in secondary school (and if you’re reading this and can’t relate, then you were this girl in secondary school). We all have our psychopathic tendencies but (not to be a spoiler) it’s a bit much.

Minute 52:  I want to pull out my eyes and stamp on them (One word: Deaf). This film has made me physically unwell. I’m so tense. It’s like watching those people that audition for the X Factor and are given loads of time to tell their sob story, so you start to presume that they are going to be really good but then turn out to be the worst singers on earth. That’s where I am. The film has started to sing, and my ears have started to bleed. I’m being dramatic, but I want to rip my skin off!!!!

On a light-hearted note, the music is good. A lot of chilled out sexy vibes. Still doesn’t save the movie though, only Cher would be able to do that (@MammaMia2).

Ah, add incredibly unrealistic to the list of cons. There is no feasible way that the scene in the carpark after the cinema could possibly end in a passionate FEEK. All the stops are being pulled out here but my cynical heartless attitude toward love and romance is shadowing my judgement.

Overall, “Sierra Burgess is a loser” is a poor attempt at capturing the reality of adolescence. Kids don’t catfish each other anymore, unless they want their 15 minutes of fame on the hit MTV show of the same name. The idea is, however, what the youngens call these days: Old News.  

In conclusion, no teen movie will ever beat “The Perks of Being a Wallflower”, and that’s a fact x

Robbo Score: 6 slutdrops/10

Robbie Walsh